The Snack Negotiations: Why Kids Need 47 Snacks Before Dinner

Breaking News: Dinner Is in 20 Minutes. A Snack Emergency Has Been Declared.

“I'm hungry.” Four words that can bring an entire household to a standstill. Dinner is almost ready. You had a snack seven minutes ago. None of these facts are relevant to the small attorney standing in front of the pantry.

Welcome to snack negotiations, where the client is six, the demands are unreasonable, and the counteroffer is always crackers.

The Five Stages of a Snack Emergency

1. Announcement: “I NEED A SNACK.” No greeting. No introduction. Just a formal declaration.

2. First Offer: “How about an apple?” The client would like to remind you that apples are not cookies.

3. Counteroffer: “What if I eat the apple and then have cookies?” A surprisingly innovative solution involving cookies.

4. Appeal: “But I'm STARVING.” Said while holding the remains of a granola bar.

5. Unexpected Ending: Dinner is served. “I'm full.” Case closed. Nobody is satisfied.

Which Snack Personality Are You?

The Crunch Commander eats food loud enough to interrupt phone calls. The Dessert Scientist believes ice cream belongs in the food pyramid. The Mac & Cheese Executive accepts one color of pasta and exactly one sauce. The Snack Investor wants three snacks now and two for later, in case the economy changes.

Funny Food Graphic Tees for Tiny Snack Executives

Snack Request Pending Approval captures the paperwork involved in getting a cracker approved. Nacho Problem is for the kid who takes cheese seriously. Mac Mode understands that mac and cheese is not a phase. It's a lifestyle.

How to Style Funny Kids Food Shirts

Pair a colorful snack tee with neutral cargos, denim or shorts and sneakers. The outfit says streetwear. The child says “Do we have gummies?”

Do funny food tees make good gifts for kids?

They're a playful birthday or everyday gift for kids who love a food joke. Choose a design that matches the kid's own sense of humor and check sizing before buying.

Final thought: We don't negotiate with snack emergencies. Except we do. Every day. See the Briefly Funny kids graphic tee collection.